Shaping Identity

-Starr Church

Figure 1 found from https://creativemornings.com/themes/identity

If you were asked to describe your identity, what would you say? Your first thought may be which gender you identify as. Some may immediately think of their economic class. Others may associate their identity with their race.

 If I were asked, I may say, “I identify as a 20-year-old Caucasian female.” I could also respond by saying, “I identify as a Disney-loving, coffee addicted, Pre-Med student.”  The amazing thing is there are endless answers, none of which will ever be considered wrong!

Additionally, this is an interesting concept because, in my opinion, there is not just one thing which makes up a person’s identity. Whether it be their profession, their interests, their life circumstances, or a mixture, how a person defines themselves comes from the experiences they have. What I mean by this is how you see yourself can be shaped by personal observations, achievements, and/or struggles which have occurred in your life. But, identity can an also be shaped by factors outside of your control.  Let me explain.

My parents have been separated my whole life. Growing up, the norm for me was living with my mom and stepdad, Bob, and usually only seeing my biological father on holidays. I had never questioned this, as it was how things had always been, and would always continue to be. However, I will never forget the day that another fellow second grader asked me why I called my dad, “Bob,” instead of, “Dad.” After responding that I called my stepdad by his name because he wasn’t my actual dad, my fellow classmate replied, “My mom says that when a kid doesn’t live with both their mommy and daddy, they are from a broken family.” The way she emphasized “broken family,” made me feel like I had a label that was different from the majority of the other children in my class.

It may sound silly, but as a second grader, I began to struggle because I felt coming from a, “broken family,” is what identified me. Even worse, it seemed that saying had a negative connotation, and was never used as a positive in conversations. I began to become more aware of the fact that most of my friend group at the time had parents who were still married to each other, and I started to feel severely out of place. I was convinced that every time a friend or teacher would look at me, it was as though I had, “HAS DIVORCED PARENTS,” written on my forehead and no one cared about any other part of me.

As I got older, I realized that having divorced parents was much more common than I once thought. And today, it no longer plays a part in my identity. While having divorced parents was completely out of my control, it was a very personal issue I struggled with for years because I felt like that was the only thing that defined me. Just as some people were identified as, “Smart,” or, “Athletic,” I felt I was identified as, “Misfit,” because my biological parents were no longer married.   

We can relate the concept of defining one’s self back to the novel, The House on Mango Street. A huge theme of this novel revolved around circumstances which the main character, Esperanza, felt played a huge part in who she was. Specifically, we can look at how factors outside of the character’s control shaped her identity.

I believe Esperanza’s class played a big part in how she saw herself. Her family was not particularly wealthy. In fact, they were quite the opposite. We saw this with the physical description of her house the author gave us, which essentially showed it was very run down and very small. Additionally, Esperanza explained how the whole street was filled with houses like hers, and how her family did not have a car, meaning they used public transportation. Throughout the story, we could sense just how badly she wanted to get out of there, and how much those circumstances defined her. She was not proud of the location or house she lived in and became increasingly more aware of her family’s economic status as people began to be appalled by where she lived.

In the end, the concept of identity is relevant to adolescence. The transition from childhood to adulthood is a period in life when we begin to develop who we are. We become more aware of the world around us, we begin to form our own opinions and beliefs based off experiences we have, and we start to see ourselves a certain way. Each person’s identity is unique and illustrates how they see themselves. It’s truly an amazing honor to live in a time where we are able to identify as the person we see ourselves as, as well as the person we want to be!